I'm considering the idea of going to therapy to address my circumcision trauma. I do not make this decision lightly. I have always been vehemently against therapy for this particular issue. It does not help that I deeply hate every aspect of the United States medical industry, and therapy falls into that category. However, over the past few years, my mental health has deteriorated and I am literally at rock bottom with nowhere to turn and nobody to talk to. 

I don't really have any friends. I have family, but I never talk to them or interact with them in any meaningful capacity. I'm approaching my mid 30s and have felt stuck all my life since I discovered what circumcision was and learned that this mutilation was inflicted upon me. I'm terrified at the idea that a therapist my laugh me out of the room and I don't think I would be able to handle that kind of disrespect.

Would anyone recommend a male therapist over a female one? How should I bring up my trauma? Has anybody ever had a negative therapy session that only made them become worse? Would love to hear everyone's thoughts and take on this. 

Thanks

If you want to try therapy, overall I do recommend. No one deserves to feel alone, and at minimum therapy can help with that.

In terms of support for circumcision grief specifically, therapy is hit or miss, and that's being generous. Having high hope for therapy underestimates the systemic nature of the oppression in cutting culture.

Back in the 1800s, should a slave with ahead of his time racial consciousness expect to go to a therapist from the prevailing medical establishment of his day and be anywhere nearly properly understood? Of course not. Just imagine an 1800s slave complaining about implicit bias and white fragility to any authority figure back in day. Not going to go anywhere productive.

The analogy isn't perfect (as I like to say, because circumcision is worse), but I actually think its closer than is often given credit. No authority figure like a therapist is going to properly understand. Therapists for all other issues have substantial identity consciousness training. Therapists go through required certifications and trainings for how to not do micro-aggressions against black people, minorities, women etc. You want to know which topic therapist training complete avoids? Circumcision. Shocker. When you go, even if you get a good therapist, expect micro-aggressions on the topic. Expect the therapist to not really care, to comment about how its no big deal, to be surprised your bringing it up, to regurgitate offensive cutting culture talking points. And that's if you get a good therapist. Despite being well-spoken and transparent on the subject, I've had therapists who couldn't even believe circumcision was the real reason I was upset, and were looking for the "true" reason that must be something I was hiding.

Overall, therapy is good. But therapy is part of the problematic world we live in with systemic oppression and cutting culture. So faith in quality of circ grief therapy needs to be low

Thank you for the well thought out reply. I think the analogy makes sense - a former slave in the 1800s going to a therapy session and talking about systemic racism hit the nail on the head in terms of what someone should expect when trying to find a therapist to help them with this. I know not all are bad, but I've heard some serious horror stories.

Thanks again

Please see Tye & Hardi (2022) for a review of the issues.

There have been reports of therapists who have no understanding or sympathy for the trauma that circumcised men have experienced. The psychological issues that trouble circumcised men have only recently been recognized.

Intact America is providing information and has counseling available. I suggest that you consult them.

Non-surgical foreskin restoration has been found to have psychological benefits as one has regained control over one's body. I also suggest that you consider undertaking non-surgical foreskin restoration.

To corroborate old-guy's post, I saw an immense means of emotional healing from my own restorative efforts but it is hardly a cureall. Though to be frank, being able to look into a bathroom mirror and not idealize running into traffic now that I "look" the part of a typical intact guy whole flaccid made the rough 10 year time sink into my restoration overall worth it. Even if I still have reservations about some immutable anatomical harms from my mutilation that restoration alone could not address. I can only hope you were given a kinder cut that would let restoration give you a more holistic feeling result. It is worth it.

To corroborate old-guy's post, I saw an immense means of emotional healing from my own restorative efforts but it is hardly a cureall.  Though to be frank, being able to look into a bathroom mirror and not idealize running into traffic now that I "look" the part of a typical intact guy whole flaccid made the rough 10 year time sink into my restoration overall worth it.  Even if I still have reservations about some immutable anatomical harms from my mutilation that restoration alone could not address.  I can only hope you were given a kinder cut that would let restoration give you a more holistic feeling result. It is worth it.

Sylphy:

I agree with you.  I am now a retired person.  I have channeled my anger into intactivism.  I think that has helped me.